He wouldn't know what to do with his penis even if they made a "how to get a blowjob for dummies" guide
So, halfway through sex he stops and starts crying. He said he's worried god hates him for all his bad decisions...think he meant to imply I was one of them...
I just had a flashback to last nights party, I'm pretty sure I told most of the people there that I post a masturbation schedule for an iCal download.
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
this blows. i told the guy at the bar that i was the DD and it was like i just announced over megaphone that i had genital herpes. no one will talk to me now.
I prob couldn't even get his attention if I had a dick growing out of my forehead
it was either a really good one night stand or a really really good first date. thank you online dating
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
I think it says something about my life when I start picking up girls while im in rehab. And I don't think it's good.
I didn't realize how drunk I was until my vagina was in the snow.
Why are your underwear on my dining room table?
Last night you made me help you pick the raisins out of a kashi bar and acted like it was the most important thing to ever happen to you or our friendship
There is nothing worse than the batteries of your vibrator dying on valentines day
I woke up with masking tape on my nipples this morning........... WHY DO BAD THINGS HAPPEN TO GOOD PEOPLE
Haha I wasn't coming anyway. I'm watching Snow White and don't want to put pants back on. Those are completely unrelated. Have a good night.
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