So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
She threw up all over when she was giving me dome. Not even gonna lie, it felt really good.
I couldn't even finish, she was lounder and more annoying than DJ Khaled
Just gave my manager part of my viccodin stash-my job is basically secured forever.
i broight you flpweers amd vodka. open yoir bask door
They evidently had to pull his penis out of me while we were passed out on the floor.
I just put on eyeliner and a diff shirt in case the pizza guy is cute. This is what my dating life has come to
sorry like um she made me hold her puke bag while she peed in front of me is that better
if it doesnt flame it aint got game is a bad drinking motto eyebrow-wise.
eyebrows regrow, your balls dont
Haha. Fifty shades ain't got shit on me. My tits look like they got in a fight.
SUNS OUT COOCHY OUT
I have an aggressive hickey on my shoulder and it actually hurts.
Just letting you know that I just spent 11 dollars on a car wash... Because you had sex in my car.
Who in their right mind would frost a cake with their butt?
IT'S PERFEFT
... what?
HIS DICK. IT'S PERFECT. BYE.
Randomize
