Shaq going to Cleveland; Vince Carter to the Magic; Michael Jackson, Farrah Fawcett, and Ed McMahon die.... ARMAGEDDON IS UPON US!!!!!
Why am I getting the stink eye from these people? They're acting like BYOB isn't kosher in a laundromat.
I had five suicidal voicemails from him when I woke up this morning. They all started and ended with "DON'T FUCK MY ROOMMATES".
It was only one, it doesn't count.
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
Ok fine. Wild. Free. Like a stallion set free in a beautiful meadow filled with flowers and sexy lady horses
God I love incriminating evidence...wonder what the statue of limitations is on shitting on someones driveway
What is she getting? Last time we talked her behavior was conducive to getting a tramp stamp on her face.
Before we rave about the healing powers of your penis, remember it nearly killed me as well.
How bad would it be if I asked him for my "ho ho ho" thong back? They're my fav christmas pair!
The bar would not accept my money. I have reached God status here
My dog just ran downstairs with my vibrator in her mouth... during my dad's birthday dinner.
His boxer smelled like clean laundry while I was giving him head. It was delightful, like sucking a dick in a spring meadow.
I think people are normalizing furries
I walked in..crop dusted the whole place then asked her if she wanted to go to a place that smells better.
You were always a thinker
i ran into the Jo the housecleaner earlier this morning. i mentioned i had a little hangover and she asked what the occasion was.. i replied "Tuesday" without thinking. she judged the shit out of me.
Randomize
