wow, farting in latex pants is really awkward.
let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
So I've officially decided that I AM that drunken mistake that girls hate themselves for in the morning.
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
He was waring a speedo fashioned out of american flag bandanas and when he got hard he said "you're such a patriot...raising the american flag like that"
btw he is cheating on one twin with the other. the main woman in his life has a mullet. I defiantly have either the coolest or weirdest uncle ever
I'm pretty sure he told me he was sterile and I told him I was on the pill. The positive pregnancy test I'm holding in my hand right now tells me that at least one of us was lying.
He walked into my room in the middle of the night, whispered something about the patriot act, and took my tv.
The idea of snorting emergen-c actually just crossed my mind.
He puked in the funnel and continued to chug it. Who is this dude?
Reading old FB posts. Why did I ever stop drinking?
Well... I got her number now... I think she is a dish best served drunk
I'll do my best. he just keeps yelling beer and doing dick helicopters
He will forever be known as the toe sucker who may or may not have been a father
I'm not well. Although it could be worse.
My cousin is so hungover she quit her job.
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