Is it normal that I have to take off my pants to get mouth stitches removed?
i wokr up in ohio with no clothes. i think someone gave me ecstacy. can you come find me please it's cold.
Sooo, drunk me had the sense of mind to write down everything that happened last night.....I bet you thought you'd get away with what you did to my parrot.
I love memorial day. It's drinking in the name of patriotism. God Bless America
he said no sex till date three. i said the party was one, mcdonalds two and that i would take him with me to buy cigs for date three.
Ya know, in a round about way coinstar is just a glorified vending machine for all my bad choices.
I havnt even moved into my new place yet and there's already a county sheriffs card taped to the door with my name on it asking me to call him
Wednesday. Otherwise known, to you at least, as "there are two gay men in my bed" day.
You missed a lot. I drank contact solution thinking it was water, vodka thinking it was water and some unidentified substance that reminded me of pine sol thinking it was water..
Why did I think it was so necessary to steal that rolling pin?
Jesus told me in my dream not to go to the party. I am athiest for tonight PARTY ON
So, we estimated there is at least 40 pounds of boob in our house.
Grilled cheese and shark week. Unemployment done right.
My new dentist just kinda stared at me when I told him that I used to have partial dentures after breaking 2 teeth while beating the shit out of someone, until I puked them into the toilet and flushed them after getting high and making myself undercooked mac and cheese.
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
Randomize
