Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
im at planned parenthood. the form wants to know what our usual form of contraception is?
anal.
i'm writing my speech about my 4th grade backstreet boy concert experience. that sums up how seriously i take my life.
so looking at the guys i've dated i feel my vag is a halfway house
I would like to apologize for making you the target of my "I wish head hair grew as fast as Pubes speech" the other night
that awkward moment when your booty call gets snowed in at your place.
You're really doing everyone a disservice by wearing pants all the time.
Just got biofeeze on my vag. Weirdest sensation everrr. Can't decide if I want to cum or cry
Hey. Im sorry to bother you but I just watched the seinfield episode about faking an orgasm and it caused me to second guess myself. Were you satisfied?
I TOOK A FINGER IN THE BUTT YOU CAN OPEN THIS MESSAGE
I'm sorry, that really sucks. I'm in the bath eating lasagna and if anyone comes in here it's going to be bad news for them
The fact that my boss lets me drink on my lunch break makes Mondays much easier.
I shit like a lady though so that rarely happens
Just woke up and read the text that drunk me sent you, i take it all back, and you can't have my power puff girl pillow either.
Randomize
