i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
told my boyfriend i was a virgin so he wouldnt feel bad since he is. now hes asking why his dick is so itchy. should i tell him why?
i don't see why you should, it's not like you told the other guys with the itchy dicks.
just upgraded from jello shots to jello bowls blacking out just got that much more delicious
I walked outside out to find her peeing in her toga with a cigar in one hand and her thong in the other
Yeah i knew he wasn't okay when he told me he was "seeing his vision"
dude, you cant keep using "she roofied me" as an excuse to bang all these fat chicks
I woke up next to her will a oven mit taped to my cock. Dear god, I might have tried to use it as a condom.
Just walked into a random hotel for the free breakfast. How was your night?
But theres a keg here and me gusta
Dude so last night I was eating out my gf and her kitten climbed onto my back and fell asleep. AND SHE DIDN'T NOTICE FOR LIKE 10 MINUTES
Are cops allowed to hit on you if they're in uniform?! Serious question.
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
if you're wondering why I texted you some girl's name at 4 am it's because you wanted to Facebook stalk the girl who gave that Irish guy we met at the Chinese food place her license and said 'call me'
she bought my drinks all night, made me breakfast in the morning, and let me use her expensive hair products before i left. best one night stand ever.
Randomize
