Every time we have sex I can't stop thinking about Jesus
If you made a robot out of pillows would he be nice? It's hard to imagine a mean pillow robot. And who came up with the idea of shaving their legs?
The old woman next to me on the el smells like cupcakes...but she doesn't taste like cupcakes
Call me at 7:30 and make sure I'm not asleep in this booth at Waffle House.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just remembered we said the Lord's Prayer before we went out last night.
cant help it. i get a boner every time that shake weight infomercial comes on
2 am we went back to his house. his mom handed us beers and cooked us pancakes. the next morning his dad had washed my car. i lied. living at home after college definitely does not suck.
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
he offered to walk down from the bar this morning to my house and bring me a guinness...
how romantic. its the irish mans version of flowers
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
she told me if people cross their eyes and look at her, they say she looks like megan fox
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
My goal for break? Fuck all my exes in reverse order.
And I wasn't prepared because its been a very long and lonely season and I wasn't expecting to find dick at Press Box trivia night....
I'm in a corner eating carrots and drinking champagne. I've hit a new kind of low.
How is that low? I love carrots.
Its not that hard to understand he's my holiday boyfriend, we ignore each other most of the year except on holidays when I give him head
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