You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
What started out as a threesome has become me sitting here watching them have sex... Can I get a ride home?
I kept waking up & seeing my Goodfellas poster and thinking it was a window with people crammed against it staring at me.
I guess the lighting in my room made it look like they were moving. I remember telling myself that they were watching over me and protecting me from the cops
I told my rommate that he was pissing on his bed. He said "ok man" and took a step backwards and continued. He then went back to bed.
a pedometer??? no beatles?Steve jobs just took a dump in CA and it landed on my heart
my roommate's gf just broke up with him and hes in his room crying and listening to coldplay while beating off to pictures of her...
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
Beer bonged 7 shots of Jameson. I title this night short stories with tragic endings.
I don't care how much you're grieving a loss, masturbating off the side of a roof is not acceptable mourning behavior.
I think we have it figured out.. She's my wife when she's here and gives me advise on how to get ass when she's 1500 miles away.
They took the TVs out of the gym and the mini-Mart only had 2% milk. 2015 wants me to be fat
Dude, who WASN'T thinking of motorboating her?
I really don’t want to have kids.
I thought we agreed we were done with dirty talk for the day
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
He's making me do the dishes for the next month and half because I shit in the bath tub...
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