is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
We have video of him nailing the sex doll to my wall and putting all the monopoly pieces in her nose
I left him a voicemail saying i went through with the abortion and he texts me back one thing... the bbm "phew" face. really?
My only downfall is that I can only take shots in twos.
I don't know how or when he is sober long enough to donate plasma
i had a mental breakdown over a math asignment proposed to a glass of chocolate milk then burned my hands when i acidentally leaned on the stove i have the grill marks burned on my hands i can see them
its only been 20 minuts since i last saw you
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
Can you please stop having such an active social life? I'm tryna get fucked over here
Finally get to put my practical writing degree to use! I'm writing a craigslist ad for a threesome
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
I have hobbies that aren't destroying myself and others...i can make hats.....
It's Friday you fucking nerd of course I'm drunk.
You spent an hour sitting naked in your neighbor's Jeep Wrangler yelling in a terrible British accent about how you were "on a safari". Then you passed out on your lawn.
What would I even say at the wedding? "Sorry that I still wouldn't sleep with you after four years of you trying...but hopefully my sister here isn't that stubborn" and give him an awkward pat on the back?
Don't come in. My door to my bathroom won't close because of the table and I'm pooping
Classy
Randomize
