Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
As far as classy things to do in front of your ex go, throwing up on your own shirt is not one of them.
Its not small because its small, Its small because it was cold outside
I went to the bathroom like 8 times and each time I looked in the mirror and tried saying "I am sober." I burst out laughing when I got to "so-" every time. If you can't convince yourself, you can't convince anyone else. Fuck it, I'm going upstairs and drinking more.
You make your fellow Jews happy.
First day of class and I'm in a bar drinking pitcher #3. Foreshadowing?
On monday, while we were having crazy monkey sex, I earned $82. Vacation pay rocks.
He peed off the roof and then we bonded it was beautiful
I can control the tv with my phone while pooping on the second floor. I thought you should know for future reference
ATTENTION PENIS' OF BURLINGTON: I AM COMING FOR YOU
Can I fire a pigeon out of a t shirt gun?
I don't care if it's 2 inches or 20 I mean dick is dick
HEY I WILL KIDNAP THE FUCK OUT OF YOUR PET GOAT
Well Jon got a DUI sleeping in the back seat so I thought the trunk was safer. BUT WHO CARES WHY JUSE PLEASE COME LET ME OUT!
If you’re wondering why the bong is outside the garage door just know I was being environmentally efficient by not using the freezer to chill my shit
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