This is how I know I have no life... Jon and Kate are my emotional roller coaster.
you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
I started the year with 2,800 dollars and am now down to 83 dollars-one of which i use to snort my focalin. I have given up on food and am perplexed as to how I can make 82 dollars last more than two weekends for booze
We've started doing pot butter shots. WHY AREN'T U HERE
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
I'm also 95% sure I had a conversation with someone on how hard it would be to jerk off with out opposable thumbs
she was rubbing her elbow against the fish tank and laughing hysterically then she said I'M THEIR FISHY GOD and watched harry potter
Everything smells like vodka and bologna. WHAT DID YOU DO?
Might be time to reevaluate my life. Banned from red roofs inns. Apparently I puked in ice machine. 3 hotels in a year.
He says I vaguely mumbled happy New year, kissed him, threw up and then went back to sleep.
So besides your brother walking in on you shaving and singing "I'm gonna get asssss" how was your night
I don't want any of this. I just want big sausages.
I'm potentially being cockblocked by Old Man Winter. What the fuck did I do to piss off an entire season?
My husband gave me a key to his house. I thinks this means we're getting kinda serious.
I slept with my wedding DJ..... I think this means my life has come full circle
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