Who do you think planted the wheat? Who do you think cleared the land and killed off the native inhabitants? Women?
Just witnessed a walk of shame by a guy in a half gorilla suit. It's going to be a good day.
It was like some kind of slut recycling operation. She gave me the shirt of the last guy she slept with in exchabge for mine so I didn't have to wear the same thing to work. She's been doing it for years
It's going to be great. We're a perfect team to break up marriages and happiness.
i feel like the 7 eleven by your house knows our deepest, darkest secrets
i still can't believe we survived that barcrawl. the third bar had bullet holes and we still went in.
and a jello shot exploded in my bra last night. Now I have blueberry smurfette boobs. Awesome.
Found out last night that "Everclear" is Spanish for "shit got weird"...
Russell brand is gross. Everytime I see him I just wanna give him a bath. He's like a used condom.
I thought I could grab a hold of my stream of urine. So she left pretty soon after that.
I was thirsty after the sex and it was a long trek back to res so naturally I stole chocolate milk from his fridge as I left
HAVE BEEN SPEAKING IN RUSSIAN ACCENT FOR 5 HOURS
SHIRT GONE
Getting paid in weed to watch a pregnant adult with cooking skills is the TITS
The fact he has had a girlfriend for 5 years and they are trying to work it out isn’t going to stop me from sleeping with him. He said it himself you can’t cheat on someone you love...
At least I’m an “essential employee” and can still bang my boss. \n\nFingers crossed my husband doesn’t ask why I’m essential, the orgasms are too good to give up during this pandemic
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