I told her I was horny and she said to forget it because she has vagina drama.
WHAT IN THE HELL IS VAGINA DRAMA?!
Apparently everytime he put me down to bed I escaped out the window, I faintly recall climbing into the canoe in the back yard, and air paddling.
Also, I just saw a woman change into her stripper outfit in the bathroom at Target.
My boyfriend woke me up in the middle of the night to have sex with me right before I had sex with another guy in my dream. What a unique sixth sense his penis has.
Just croosed over that too drunk for chemistry class line
Apparently I took one a huge picture off the wall at the bar and was walking around dancing with it..
You can't buy drugs with a ziplock bag full of quarters, chuck-e-cheese coins, and a starbucks giftcard.
watch me
how do you not remember that?! you winked at the bouncer and then proceeded to grind on him while chugging a beer. i don't know if i should be proud or embarrassed to be your friend
I hope Team Snapchat has been enjoying our sex snaps all this week.
So I don't know, I'm not a doctor, but I might be juggling dates with 3 different guys...
nobody was home so I boiled the dildo
I just have to point out that once I typed "fa" my phone filled in "fatass"
honestly my period and I are just as surprised to see each other every month
You're a mystery wrapped in an enigma wrapped in a redhead
What am I supposed to say? "Oh hey, I can't go out with you tonight because I can't picture myself sleeping with you and I was high and just trying to be nice when I said yes"?
Randomize
