It wouldn't matter if you are Jesus Christ himself, you are not getting into the bar tonight
Ask me how many people I've slept with. Because its changed since I last saw you.
I saw you 20 MINUTES AGO. You need to stop this.
is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
I checked for jungle juice on Weight Watchers. they didn't have it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Anytime you have a hot, flirty, married woman that wants to ride you like a horse and slap your ass, you've got to do it.
Yeah, but four times?
He doesn't fuck you and he's married, why do you keep letting him cum all over your stomach?
In the hopes he'll just put it in one day?
Do you think I threw out my left shoulder during the keg stand or the stripper pole? It's medically relevant my chiropractor wants to know.
Then again, I'm single and napping with a stuffed yoda doll...so I'm not the world's authority on shit.
Omg. I wanna lecture the drug dealer about how highschool should not be his glory days.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Omg he has a washer and dryer IN his apartment and lots of back up toilet paper. I went home with an adult. My uterus is pumping out eggs beyond my control.
The bond between me and cheese is something no man can understand.
I didn't pop out of a cake in a speedo with diagrams
In case that's what u were picturing
who orders an old fashioned in 2014? even my Grandparents think you're an asshole.
Hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking you had a pulse
My dad accidentally texted me asking if I had weed...
Maybe you should say yes, and you guys can like bond or something...
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