Im at strip club and am horny
guess who came home with a hottie last night
Def drugged
idk but i have you stored in my phone as 'guy with beard doing body shots'
Pretty much gone. He was in the backseat and kept whispering that his "toes felt like pigtails"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think I found an E pill under the couch.. Or really bad tasting candy. Check back in 30min this could get exciting
I'm sober enough to question why I have your name as "the wolverine" in my phone.
Not sure why I sent you a picture of a black bear last night but it seemed like a good idea at the time.
Its like "fucckkkkk yooouuuuuu" is echoing up my esophagus
tequila?
yep
Please don't mistake my med student status for responsibility. I'm drinking tequila while studying vascular surgery techniques.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Abort mission; I repeat: Abort mission.I found an attractive one.
Can you technically cross something off your bucket list if you don't, per say, remember it....?
Hypothetically - think of it as Schrodinger's blow-job.
uh...sober saturday NEVER has a good ring to it.
I've had way too many dicks in my mouth the past two weeks. Ready to go back to school and be a doctor now
You peed on a flamingo?!?
Randomize