Dude, I was completely sober last night, didn't puke on my shoes, went home with an incredibly beautiful girl, wore a condom, and didn't wake up in a puddle of urine this morning.
hah, sarcasm, classic
so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
A girl limped into my class 15 minutes late wearing sunglasses, leggings, and a kiss me im irish shirt. She sat down and took her glasses off and im pretty sure she only had one eye's makeup still on. Someone had a great st pattys day.
All I remember was yelling at him, "Its becasue of people like you that it took us so long to get to the moon!"
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
Did I at antime last saturday slip away and sign up for a prayer circle?
Is there a fine for having sex in the back of a zipcar?
So not only did you shoot down my invitation and prob walked past my house but now ur excluding me from a wet t shirt contest which btw i totally would have won
So I went to daintily fall onto my bed like I was in a hotel commercial and I completely missed my matress and landed on my floor. Just thought u should know.
So I almost just died there. And we need a new garage door.
Walking towards a police car with full spotlights on you while being fully erect..awkward exp. for both parties
You want to know how I feel? I feel like Cady Heron pushed me in front of a bus last night.
I'm gonna fight the coyote
She was on top, but I lost her at "alright, you look like predator."
It smells like graded cheese and febreze in the family room what the hell have you been up to???
Randomize
