is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
You owe me 10 bucks. He wasnt in jail. Found him at 530 this morning when the smoke alarm went off. He passed out naked in the middle of cooking bacon. No idea where he was before that.
Until he has ordered mozzarella sticks & beers at 2pm while wearing formal attire, then this is still my bar.
i'm sitting in the library realizing that the 2 most productive things i did this weekend was have sex and go to the liquor store...
he kept saying "mind over matter" as he fucked me
I think I left my camera at your house. It would be in both of our best interests if you don't go through the pics.
How was the birthday sex?
Shit got outta hand. Honestly I think even my STDs have STDs.
We were sitting in a hot tub debating how drunk we could get by osmosis if we kept spilling our drinks in it. This is what engineering college does to you.
You were so drunk last night you left the bar to go buy a razor so you could go home with him
apparently, dueling with garden tools in Home Depot is strictly frowned upon
The only thing I remember last night was feeding my dog 4 McDoubles.
My housemates are judging me because I'm high at 8am and making Spongebob shaped Mac and Cheese
They know nothing, John Stoned.
like when you break up with someone your virginity slowly starts to grow back & when it's done it's like ding ding ding you're ready to date again
I probably would do him if given the chance but how awkward would Bible study be after that.
Now after not puking, next step is not to do the accent when immigration says "hello."
Randomize
