sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
i lost my life and panties somewhere between the 15th and 16th round of slap the bag.
today is monday, i feel like we should do something illegal
my brother came home with a bottle of vodka and his pants off. were gonna spend more quality time together.
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but my underwear and it was on backwards and my entire body is too sore to move...
Im glad someone is finally more of a drunken slut than I am.
Take this only to mean that we love you, but we're having a serious, half-hour, hypothetical discussion about how far we think we could throw you.
they just named my boobs. Lefty is "Guenevere" and Righty is "I claim this boob for America"
Sometimes he has weird facial hair...Basically he has a penis... that's what he's got going for him.
This has been the biggest binge-drinking season of the decade.
Turns out, his fucking is as lame and staggered as his NFL career.
On a toatally unrelated note, I see music in my hair
Well, I saw an Olympian's genitals tonight, so it can't be that bad.
My general physician told me i have the emotional capacity of a 2 year old, While he refilled my xanax prescription. That's service!
Simultaneously sexting while making brunch plans. Multitasking at its gayest.
No offense, but I don’t think I would want to see him in anything skimpier than a hazmat suit.
Randomize
