I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
Remeber, hes got nothing better to offer you than drunk words and hairy balls.
dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
I woke up this morning with a bag of pepperonis in my bed.... and my facebook status was "pepperonis"
Just watched my manager erase "we've been 2 days wo an accident" and change it to "0" these ppl are too high.
That's okay, during storytime I would have to sit on my hands so I wouldn't touch everyone. Explains a lot...
Just told my mom sparks is a health drink. Officially getting hammered on the way to the beach.
Jesus christ it's been two texts and we are already talking about dildos
My life is over. I farted in open court. Noticeably. The judge looked at me. It echoed.
She walked out and announced that he was now part of our confused, incestuous, glorious eskimo family. I've never been more proud.
Campus is too small for this to keep happening
You should just construct a mini-city, actually. Then destroy, photograph and post. Who could turn down a dick that conquered a whole city? Craigslist personals wont know what hit it.
He posted a picture from Senor Frogs. I don't remember where that bikini came from and my sombrero is PERPENDICULAR. Safe to say it was one hell of a day
Sometimes I just want to kiss you without you pulling ur cock out and waving it at me
It's to the point where if a guy can so much as find my clit, I'll consider him amazing in bed
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