you fell asleep during kickboxing this morning
how does that even happen??
you never know, standards drop, they turn gay, shit happens.
Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
Just bought plan B with a coupon. Told the pharmacist I like to keep it classy.
Every day you talk to me ... I literally love you more..
I just had a dream where Bob Saget recognized me from when I hung out with him in a dream I had months ago.
he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
he was terrible at kissing, so i just kept letting him motorboat me. he seemed very pleased with my choice
I stole another quarter from the bathroom. I'm slowly getting rich drinking here.
have the fact that the early bird is danced upon by the prettiest strippers be your motivation
He was running late for work this morning, so I helped him out by finding a matching pair of black socks. And I hated it. So I'm currently drinking and reminding myself of the reasons I will never get married.
Then he started caressing my eye brow. Like repetedly. For at least 15 minutes. It was strangely mesmerizing
Aren't you proud to know somebody who texts you "manifold facade" while dumping frozen colada mix into a blender of rum
I'm going to need a penis the size of a bat
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
Between his smile and monumental dick even the virgin mary woulda blown that man and I am far from the virgin. I didn't stand a chance.
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