R and i have drinken 4 bottles od red wine. By ourselfs
Duck Duck Cougar?
i just realized that no matter how many potstickers i eat, i will never be asian
everytime i eat a fruit i feel like i'm eating ovaries
We're playing Big Buck Hunter to determine who buys the next pitchers. And they said video games wouldn't help me later in life
blow job with a beer in the shower, I just created the ultimate day spa for dudes
I'm pretty sure I saw a man standing on a table with no shirt on getting sugar thrown at him while "pour some sugar on me" blaring while the cops were in the house.
Knitting and drinking wine. Forget my 21st birthday, might as well just skip to my 60th
I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
My sharpie cut off line was invaded last night. Where's my turtleneck?
Had to go see my sisters new baby this morn in the clothes I wore to the rave last night. Still drunk. Almost dropped it. I'll be a good aunt right?
Realistically you can't tell me you're gonna put mashed potatoes on your dick and expect me not to get excited
I've got to stop fucking tourists. If Chicagos piazza is anything like their dicks. I'm moving.
So, in keeping with the last two years, are we going to watch the new Hobbit movie on acid again? It's kinda starting to feel like a Christmas tradition.
He's talking about feelings now. I don't even know if he came???
Randomize
