drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
Please don't call me names while I'm carrying your child.
Never eat 3 McGriddles and drink a carton of milk. It's like you're successfully killing self but you're alive.
For once I'd like to have a Taco Sunday without having some random drunk chick flee my house half naked and in tears.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
Currently doing my walk of shame down a floating dock. No more guys who live on a boat EVER AGAIN
You don't understand she was in the fountain pretending she was diving for treasure. I couldn't possibly ruin her dreams.
I'm just over here all sober hanging with two high people talking about how they're "free-spirited stallions."
Just considered playing a drinking game with powerade with my sister so she would get some fluids in her. I do so well with sick people.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you got to sleep with him and don't even remember it? that's like sleeping through an entire vacation
He initiated the conversation by sending me a picture of his penis at 4 am
All the drunken hookups over the last year are self destructing, at least something is keeping nursing school interesting
People will say "JOE YOU MUST TURN DOWN" and I will refuse, in the name of liberty.
Just had a med school interview with that doctor I fucked in college. He remembered. Asked if I still have my nipple rings. Overall, I think it went well.
Note to self: NEVER have sex with anyone who is experiencing explosive diarrhea.
I've never been so happy to be celibate.
Randomize