i'm pretty confident that i watched a woman making love to a german shepherd.
Dude love is like an itch. You fuckin scratch it, then it itches more, then you scratch it and it itches more, and before you know it, there is semen everywhere.
you are insane
his penis was like watching paranormal activity your very hyped up to see it but you think it might be very scary and in the end you didnt really see anything at all
we found you in the closet, clutching coats that werent yours for stability
I stumbled in at 6am to find my cat in the window making a noise I've never heard her make. When I went to the window there was a goat outside staring at us.
Are you sure? Or did you just think there was a goat?
No there was a goat. I gave it a donut.
Its the anniversary of our epic NBA All-star game weekend. The night the two of us cashed a 30-pack while watching the dunk contest
You can't just call animal control when you're drunk because there is a bug in the shower.
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
If this were a real emergency kilted men wielding claymores and riding giant badgers would hve rescued said Guinness. So clearly this is just a hypothetical
doctors was a success... no liver damage and I lost five pounds.. we're celebrating tonight you get the whiskey I'll get the burritos.
I'm sorry but if you can talk well enough to critique his oral game, he clearly needs the pointers.
I made a half way decent playlist
Im gonna call it "hanging myself"
I went to Christian school in the 90s. I can finger blast anything, but dignity.
It's a charity event and she's wearing a cocktail dress drinking a 40... I found my future wife
I just woke up, dressed as Chris Brown, with a bunless hot dog (presumably from 7/11) in my pocket, wearing a pair of shoes I don't recognize as my own. Help.
Randomize
