I thought spray tan was a myth
?
You know, something that only happens in Jersey
okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
not only did i climb through the window at 4 am but here i am 4 hours later for my interview at the mall and i'm staring in the dark pet store barking at puppies
next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
You are writing your college essay comparing yourself to Lady Gaga, Vladimir Putin, and Dale Earnhardt Jr. and you are worried about the conclusion sounding cheesy?
I've done unspeakable things to your penis. I have every right to give it a name.
apparently i'm the only person who has heard from her since saturday. she texted me "burt reynolds" at 2am sunday
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
I would say I am sorry for punching you last night, but I found the pictures you took on my camera and it all came rushing back.
We can do this. We've been drunk at a gay bar, we will not be taken down by a Tuesday.
I just told him I want him to "take the reins". At least its festive sexting?
1) I'm a decent drunk texter. 2) My world is spinning. 3) I'll give you a dollar and a hug for a glass of water. 4) I love you. 5) Example: your penatrive ways are overwhelming my alternative lyfestyle. 6) That is all.
7) Noodle arms: engage
The example was me just using big words while hammered. You're welcome. Ambidextrious. I spelled it right.
Multi-day drunkenness is to binge drinking as black diamonds are to skiing. They're tough and confusing and you hurt afterwards, but you did it and you probably got an alright story along the way.
You are talking to me during sexting hours. Be careful, innuendos are taken seriously
I just hit 3 trees and a golf cart.. all on the same hole
Put me down for a bogey
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