You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
He IMed me 5 times, before my homepage even loaded. This is not gonna work out for me
she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
Pants on the Ground is the theme song of my life
he said i was the most charming throwing up drunk person hes ever taken care of. so of course i had sex with him.
Blacked out at the beach and unblacked out at a piano bar singing Tiny Dancer.
Well if he truly loves me he will just have to accept my flaws. And that includes a tequila dependency and borderline lesbianism.
I have a feeling she doesn't appreciate me as a person. She only fucks me because I look like Harry Potter.
WHY does every guy I sleep with want to fix my car?!
Explaining that I bought them at a strip club gift shop with my friend didnt make the furry handcuffs seem less weird
Do you know that you can buy Cialis in Mexico? Best. Honeymoon. Ever.
If I get laid tonight it will 1.) Prove that the sex gods do in fact exist, and 2.) Show that I am one motherfucking badass bitch.
i just hope we're both dead or in prison at the same time
He passed away peacefully doing what he loved to do best. Eating a pound of vodka gummy worms and failing at sex and the city trivia.
He's a snuggler. Every time I attempt to make a move to find my bra he reigns me in. Needless to say i could be here a while.
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