So I'm sober and underage, being hit on by a groom-to-be with braces...is it a bad thing that I'm enjoying it?
It's like she bought one bad life decision and got one free
i convinced her i was a yoga teacher by showing her some warm-ups my high school track coach made up
I'm not saying he has herpes, I'm just saying he slept with my friend that has herpes.
you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
I'm sorry, but the way we fuck, they don't make condoms strong enough not to break
And then i had a penis in each hand. It was magical.
oh god was she eating orange peels again
Someone fucked up, the stop Kony day is on 4/20,
I've hit an all time low of asking baristas what would go good with marshmallow vodka. I think I might hire one to party with all of us. To make hangover drinks
Dude. Why is there a hamster in my pocket? WHAT THE FUCK WAS IN THAT JOINT
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
LinkedIn just suggested I might know the guy I caught my wife fucking.
What would you say is the recommended tip for a hotel maid who has to clean up vomit on just about every surface of a hotel bathroom?
i really need to shower, but i don't want to take off my bra and lose my cleavage. the struggle
Randomize
