Let's make love on the newspapers that declare financial doomsday
somehow in between the body shots the bong hits and trying to convince the 7-11 lady to let me fill up my vodka bottle with cherry slurpee. i misplaced my car.
Today was my first day of hebrew and I learned how to say give me sex... I think I can quit now
I tried to tell him I love him but it came out something like "We're both fucked up and it works."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There is only one good excuse for how sore I am right now. And that is incredibly acrobatic sex. Unfortunately for me that is not my excuse.
Oh trust me, i am. It's like magic, but instead of rabbits and doves its orgasms- He just keeps pulling them out of nowhere.
see these eyes, they just want to bone and go to sleep.
I'll have my hookups make my March Madness picks. Win my bracket, win my heart. That's how it works right?
So, were they human bite marks at least?
Your guess is as good as mine.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We were on the ground in Tampa for 55 hours and we drank for 30 of them.
We won Spring Training 2013.
Imagine Arby's curly fries spiraled around a dick
My Sexting was not on an AP level
not that i'm not about exploiting men for money
Two days ago a random guy asked me to sign his forehead 'cause he wanted to have the name of the prettiest girl in the bar on him and never wash it. I just saw him and my signature still there...
What doesn't this kid understand that our relationship is not going past the blacked out blowjob I gave him on his birthday?
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