White wifebeaters are like orgies with fat people. Enjoyable in private, i'm sure, but in public: no thanksss.
it's like there's an entire ecosystem in your vagina.
He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
Everytime I think about NYE, my gag reflex kicks in.
Does slim fast make a chocolate heart for valentines? If so that's what she's getting.
I'm cleaning my bathroom. That being said I found a klonopin and dropped it and stepped on it. Floor is clean im gonna snort it.
He's the kind of drunk guy that would pee in your mouth while you give him head.
I just entered us to win a trip to Vegas for spring break. GET YOUR VAGINA READY FOR THE ULTIMATE DICK HUNT!
I wish dancing around my house in my bra and underwear to Love Shack whilst eating strawberry cake batter was an acceptable form of exercise.
He's asking if he can send a dick pic. How do I politely decline that?
Ps you missed quite a show. I was for some reason whipping my hair back and forth and head butted the tip jar. It shattered and now I have a circular bruise on my forehead. All the bartenders hit the floor to get all the quarters.
I Have a huge scrape on my knee and I need a better excuse than dry humping on a park bench...
My purpose is to unleash drunk self on strangers, i believe as some terrifying icebreaker, otherwise i too would offer my driving services.
She looked so much better when u didn't look at her and the music was too loud to hear her
My roommate just yelled at me for coughing. I'd like to yell at her for doing lines off our counter last night.
Randomize
