Half Baked? Au contraire, Ben and Jerry, I was fully baked when I ate that whole pint of ice cream.
just bought a coffee grinder that advertiesed spacious grinding chamber...new nickname for my bedroom?
dude my 8 year old cousin is allowed to drink wine coolers. as long as its infront of my aunt. wtf
Vaginas are confusing as hell with all their secret compartments and shit.
I'll get my vaginal cartography poster.
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
He just made a mudslide using rubinoff and swiss miss packets. This can't end well....
They thought I was the paid stripper pretty much, and a lady tried to set me up with her nephew and then wanted to get my number for lesbian daughter... A typical night for me
i feel sorry that you can never enjoy the feeling of shaved balls
Well I will be attending the wedding with a flask of wine, potentially with a straw, and POM POMS for cheering purposes. Needless to say I will be well lubricated by your arrival..
I will not be a drunk bitch. I will not be a drunk bitch. Chanting this until it's second nature.
Drinking in moderation can be fun. Drinking in moderation can be fun. Chanting this until it becomes true.
So apparently I ended up throwing my clothes in the toilet after getting kicked out of TQ and ran around the neighborhood in my boxers. Works gonna suck hard once this hangover kicks in. Also: I lost a shoe so looks like flipflops for the rest of winter
OH GOD NOT SANTA BABY. NO NO NO. YOU'RE LIKE 85. OMG MULTIPLE WOMEN. NO NO NO STAHP.
So... Really random... You know we only exist cause Dad misspelled 'perseverance', right?
I can't handle more than one dick at once. I become crazy. It's hard to be mellow and free spirited and polygamous at the same time.
Okay first of all fuck you and everything you stand for because Taco Bell is amazing.
Randomize
