we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
i just walked in on my sister drunkenly sobbing to sarah mclachlan. its time for an intervention.
didn't that happen to you last weekend?
shut up.
don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
you can't just make up for the fact that you broke up with me by tagging yourelf in my embarrassing facebook videos of you
Can we please stop calling your vagina the cave of wonders?
Just ordered an appetizer sampler to distract the fat chicks so we can escape
I really just want to stuff him in my purse, take him home, feed him pudding or applesauce and brush his hair. That's not creepy, right?
I kinda wanna eat your hands right now.
Put down the everclear and go to bed.
That big chick who gave you the handly polished off one of the walls to the ginger bread house right before she came outside. FYI
Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
There's a chance I told a cop that I was ready for him to strip I may have even taken some ones out of my purse and stuck them in his holster
She sent me a pic wearing only my batman cape. She stole my cape dude!
I'm at the nutcracker high as shit. It's so beautiful. I cried.
Decided to smoke a bowl in my closet while my parents are gone. Just sat in the closet because I couldn't remember how to get out. Started panicking cuz I thought they were gonna show up... Checked my phone. It's been 4 minutes.
If he flies out here I will sleep with him. I have morals, but not when it comes to southern accents
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