They've started ranking girls from "paper-bag" to "I just came." Please come get me
and then he said "my sister has the same underwear!" please come get me.
working out is totally making me break out.. i'm doomed to forever be either a butterface or a butterbod. there is no way out.
after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.
You were petting your shoe and saying this makes me really happy
he convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. he slurred every word. i think i found my prince charming.
Then he told me he was proud of me for remembering that i blew him that night.. Maybe my drinking is getting out of hand.
Just got back from fathers day breakfast. So hungover i couldn't eat so i just slipped my food in my pockets and threw it out while i puked in the bathroom.
Oh and probably wearing a life jacket instead of clothes didn't help things either
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
If you don't let me come over I'm gonna call you on speaker and you have to listen to her scream and moan too
well i don't know if 30 seconds is exactly a good time but at least he bought me breakfast
I said "one day" and that day is not today
I was covered in mud from my knees down, I smelt like the inside of a port-a-potty and only had mascara on one eye. . . so you know your usual Sunday brunch.
I just sent him a message bearing my soul about how much he means to me as a friend and his first response is "are you drunk?"
Shit like this is why I'm a bitch to everyone.
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