i just wish he would text me so i could ignore his text and show him how little i care anymore
Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
Jason Williams (yeah the ex-nets center...) drunkenly told me that, while drinking, I should take an ambien and a cialis before i go home...that will "give me a 25 minute window to have sex and then goto sleep before the bitch starts bothering me"....
My bosses just told me they met their wives on one night stands. I'm stoked.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He was using OnStar to get directions to the bar. I'm pretty sure he'd have gotten her number too if I hadn't disconnected the call.
Just threw up in the waiting room. I can't believe I have to switch dermatologists again.
It's all sex hats and vagina bandages with you isn't it?
you have a wonderful penis attached to someone I'm having a lot of problems with right now
There are two things I love in this world. Dick and cats. Why can't I just have dick and cats forever
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I didn't punch him it was just love coming out of my fist
Blacking out is all I've done this year and we're only 3 days in. Checkmate bitch.
Tried to shave my legs but the rug burn on my knees from last night got in the way.
You know it's time to call it a night when every guy in the bar (all 3 of them) have seen you naked at one time or another.
He let me eat chexmix while we fucked... I think I love him.
I quit doing blow for him. If that doesn’t say “I’m in love with you and want to marry you” idk what does
Randomize