yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
call of duty 2 was the straight man's twilight
once you get past the part where you think youre gonna die, its the most amazing drug ive ever experienced.
they would be such cute babies and they would grow up to have huge dicks. and that would make me proud as a mother
I'm making myself a nametag with my contact info and pinning it to myself like a kindergardenter in case I get lost when I black out on Sat.
Can we laminate it? Just to be safe.
gona look into getting a tetanus booster and carrying an adrenaline shot...its going off this weekend
She insisted we fuck to Ludacris, not how I imagined popping her lesbian cherry would be. I tried delt and I liked it.
Just realized my relationship wasn't even Facebook official and I'd already cheated on him. 'Shitty girlfriend' is an understatement.
That's the only way to get approved without a guarantor.
WHAT DOES THAT MEAN WHAT FUCKING LANGUAGE ARE YOU SPEAKING
Tell me how you feel about belly buttons
Was i rolling around in a parking lot last night
And then I realized my chick friends consist only of sober you, drunk you and hungover you
"Because this is an ongoing legal matter" is how his morning after sex text began. So...
Do you have feelings for this penis?
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
Randomize
