I just convinced a girl to drink my spit cup cuz I said it was dark beer and would get her drunk faster. I dare you to try something better.
I wasn't fucked. I was just drunk, because i was still able to walk into the woods and masterbate.
So I fucked that hot french guy last night
You do know he's the one who threw up on our table, right? You get to clean it up.
easter eggs filled with ecstasy. it's what jesus would do.
just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
he seriously made his penis a facebook.
His penis without viagra is what breaks my heart.
He's probably hung over. I sure as hell am. I want to pop out my eyeballs with a fork and soak them in cold water
I have a gyno appt today. I hate it when the Army gets involved with my vagina.
i woke up to you and that girl going out onto the balcony naked
oh sorry man.. we went outside because we DIDN'T want to wake you
No biggie, just trying to keep my liver function in the green
I should've left when he told me that he only smoked crack by accident once
Pretty sure I have a sex related back injury. I'm not sure if I should be proud or ashamed.
I am coming home with the worst sun burn of my life, two unused condoms, and an unworn slutty dress. Worst. Bachelorette. Party. Ever.
He was married to his college girlfriend for 20 years. Just give him the blow job he’s been fantasizing about since last century and he’ll be wrapped around your little finger
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