How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
Jake just asked if thanksgiving was an american thing...I left the table
My parents showed me my IQ test from fourth grade, I'm shitting on my potential.
Swear. I think after passing out in a community college parking lot I can safely nominate myself for the piece of shit of the year award
Well unless he sent his sperm via fedex, this baby isnt his
I feel like if you stuck me in a room with all my old toys it'd be the best high ever.
Just saw the stripper pole on the road that we threw out of the party bus last night
She was trying to fuck the exchange student from France. His English is really bad and the music was loud so she just pointed to a beer bottle and then her vagina.
I've never felt more disgusting in my life. And I'm including the time I snuggled that homeless woman in the puddle of my whiskey vomit.
Is there a polite way to say "Sorry for your head injury but I still want to hook up"?
Listen, unless you want to spend your birthday in a trunk, you better invite me
I couldn't stop laughing at the fact he was cutting lines with a sears card. What 24 year old has a sears card?
You gave my cousin a blowjob and are facebook friends with my mom. Is there a name for this level of friendship?
I'm glad you had fun with your genitals.
Speaking of dignity, who all saw me....
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