I really like him. That's why I'm having sex with someone else, so he doesnt think i'm a slut.
just to let you know coffee and vodka was a bad way to start the day
She just left after she spent the past 2.5 hours fuckin the shit out of me. I'll put that in the logbook as a cross country
This is so stupid. Now I have to call the party planner and tell her that the break up party is off. They decided to get back together.
What can I say, we hook up during the holidays.. We're a seasonal couple
I ended up taking shots of whiskey and chasing them with potato wedges, I have never felt more Irish
I feel like my teeth are sweating.
I was just told that i'm a premature cuddler. . . What does that even mean?
Whatever it is you failed
Um yeah. I just puked. And found your contact.
I just discovered I can sober up while teaching class
Dont worry bro, i'll be the designated kayaker. I wouldnt want u to be drinking and kayaking.
If we don't rescue him from the fat chick soon, she is going to eat him alive and suck the marrow from his bones.
That guy has been pretty randomly in and out of my vagina for 4 years...I don't think I'm required to tell him when I'm dating.
Good point.
He wants to make me arch my back "like I'm having an exorcism". Not sure if I'm turned on or freaked out.
I just don't think it's that outlandish to ask that I don't get messages from my husband at 8:30pm on a Wednesday telling me he peed on our cat
Randomize
