My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
i just hope all the shady shit stops so i can let him into my pants
You realize it's finals week?
Ya that's the school's fault. St. Patrick's day came first.
For using a life jacket as a pillow, I slept pretty good last night...
I mean, there was frosting being put on a tunafish sandwich. Pretty sure she knew we were high.
So roofie roulette was a success but I'm a little worried that the 2 who got the tainted beer still haven't contacted anyone...
playing nyquil roulette. it entails taking shots of nyquil and hoping it doesnt kick in during sex or in public. game on.
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
My phone broke again .... im not really sure how im going 2 explain the teeth marks to the ppl at the Verizon store
Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward.
Pics or STFU
So, the officer that worked my wreck, I'm rockin his world tonight. He saw me high on morphine in the ER. So he knows my level of crazy. Think he'll agree to wear his gun?
So many things can go wrong tonight.
She complimented my boobs and then told me I smelled like teddy bears before falling asleep on the floor.
Went to 7-11 to buy condoms with the $20 I found on the ground outside Rite Aid. A good day for drug stores
I promise not to pretend to be Jesus and take the wheel. But to my credit you shouldn't be saying that while I'm that drunk and we are in a car.
Dude, running 15 min late.
Let's play a game, you pay for all the drinks I can finish before you get here. Go.
Randomize
