Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
He fingered me while we both sang the fresh prince theme song.
Marry him
I told you not to have sex with her on my futon
I didnt dude, i swear!
either that or you were eating mayo, which was the second thing i told you not to do on my futon
True friendship; bangin a girl to get ur friends hat back
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
So i learned you can't hair-of-a-dog jaeger hangovers.
He is just lying there. People are throwing money onto his chest as they walk by...
did i send you the picture of me smiling with the magnum wrapper?
I'm working on a search warrant...can u pick up box of Chardonnay...I'll give u cash when u get here...
Yea... I love that ur a prosecutor and drink box wine
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
Ugh a 13 year old just asked me why people drink, I had to explain it without making it sound good. I need a drink.
LET ME HAVE MY JUDGMENT OF OTHER PEOPLE
I asked him to get me another beer, and he started making muffins.
If waffles and beer don't scream "fuck me!" then I don't know what else to do.
kind of bad when u call a cop an asshole for driving you home from the bar
Randomize
