The bar is so dead the tender gave us free shots for staying. They mixed 2pac and phil collins. That's worth at least three shots.
Should I be offended if he asked if he could use saran wrap to eat me out?
his balls ACTUALLY tasted like nuts
the people next to us in line are buying a 12 pack and a snuggie
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
things I have learned from cosmo today- 40% of guys are uncircumsized, you can have a beer facial, and i really need to get tested for std's
Sean getting laid is an anomaly, Sean banging the hottest single girl at the wedding is a fucking unicorn being ridden by a leprechaun walking through mordor.
my question is who was more confortable? You sleeping on the floor or me tweeting from a bush?
Dude, the coffee is horrible this morning, Cass changed something about it
We ran out of Bailey's Irish cream...
This is what regular coffee tastes like?!?! Fuck the adult life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You went through my pantry and left one of everything in the box. One cracker. One cheesit. One piece of cereal. I really fucking hate you.
I'm sorry, you're actually right. Ostrich racing happens, and they're ridden like a horse. Bewildered and distraught.
NO HOOKUPS IN THE CAR. I will try as i might to practice what i preach, but there are no guarantees.
I just slipped on ice and peed on my pea coat. There's a pun there but I'm too sad to make it
Moral of the story - don't craft naked. Your nipples with thank me.
Would it defeat the purpose of a run if I ran to McDonalds?
Randomize