i kinda do this "flirt with girls and pretend to be a hot white guy named chris" thing
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
Every day I regret the life decisions that led me to bank management and NOT being a coke addicted stripper. Every. Single. Day.
Things I had in my bed when I woke up: an avocado, a toilet brush, and a note that says thanks but no thanks with the number of taco bell on it. WHAT DID I DRINK?
I just told him that with every paper, I'd take a picture of myself with one less piece of clothing. Who say's I can't be a tutor?
So update from last night: I made friends with a coke dealer, I tore the card scanner off the wall of my dorm, and I passed out on our bathroom counter with my head in the sink.
So heartbroken my rebound has a rebound
So his shoes are still here. And there are three contacts in a case. And a shirt on the bed. I've checked my dorm and he's not here. I'm so confused.
Getting robbed by hookers is def a right of passage in a mans life
My soul is telling me that I need to take this exam naked.
I may be a feminist, but I am not above using my body to distract you if it means I might beat you in a game of scrabble.
I'm pretty happy on the couch eating Popeyes and watching Cops so if I go over there you better have drugs left
Me-World Problems: do I have my boyfriend come to my birthday party in drag, or is that too weird for the first time meeting literally any of my friends
I called him the wrong name all night, yet I still got a ride home from the party and hooked up with the guy. I'm irresistible.
Drunk man just fell out of said wheelchair
Randomize
