you better believe me or I'll punch you in the face
Puked in a plastic neiman Marcus bag while driving. My biggest accomplishment yet
I went to his work to give him some blankets and ended up blowing him in the bathroom. See what happens when you don't come over?
I think i found piece of your tooth in my dick this morning when i took a shower
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
Almost thought it was a good idea to call his parents to thank them for having a son with an awesome dick. That high.
yeah, I said "hi, I'm the creepy old guy at the college bar" and she said that she like mature men, wasn't expecting that line to work
she said I was laying next to a garbage can in the subway doing key bumps and screaming "its my fucking birthday" repeatedly
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
Fucking someone because they own a lava lamp is like fucking someone because they have 20 dollars and no concern for their house burning down.
Although I would ideally cut back on smoking weed, imagine what getting high and looking for our spirit animals would be like
So our trip to Disney World ended in the three of us stripping at a gay club in orlando.
stoners and superglue do NOT mix
I will gladly accept you into my home with open legs.
Sorry I crashed a riding mower into your garage door. No hard feelings??
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