P.S. theres no milk for breakfast, but theres plenty of beer or red wine. you decide.
shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
Dude she let me cum on her face
You have the wrong number I'm the she who let you cum on her face unless some other girl has let you since this morning
She looked like a pterodactyl.....but dude i love dinosaurs
as soon as I walked into work this morning, my boss called me out on my hangover, patted me on the back and said I'm getting time an a half for even showing up. Did I really look that bad this morning?
The little things make me happy. Little dicks do not.
We had sex after spending two hours in the drunk tank. It was really deep and meaningful
I told her my hands were paint brushes and her vagina was my canvas
It was a "my chaser needed a chaser" kind of night
I re-seduced my fuck buddy...must be the luck of the Irish!
We were fucking in the boat on the lake when another boat saw us and honked their appreciation.
This is why I only drink in places with a C or D health rating
well ya only live once...
that cant be your answer for every horrible thing you do
Thank you for coming with me today. I find it appropriate that we celebrated my negative pregnancy test with slurpees and donuts.
He waved at a guy who drove by while we were having sex in the back of a rental car in a hospital parking garage prior to visiting family. Almost made me feel guilty but I liked it too much.
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