So I thought I was slick leaving his room this morning all incognito. Little did I know I was wearing his football jersey with his name across the back... stilettos & my bra was left behind. never seeing that again
And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
He had a stripper pole in his bedroom. I didn't know whether to be impressed or creeped out.
she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
i'm not the one sitting naked in my room playing with my boobs and a cat.
I would just like you to know that the guy I blew off last weekend to come find ur drunk ass just got drafted into the major leagues.
Moment of silence for the loss of that option.
we tried to steal a tractor last night. you should have come out.
Nahh. Maybe not even a handful. It's more like a heaping teaspoon worth of dick.
Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
My cat was watching porn with me. Weirdest bonding experience ever.
Posting happy birthday to my grandpa on Facebook.... Then realizing my profile pic is me dressed as a slutty cop when he used to be a police officer.
I wish buying curtains was as easy as buying drugs. I already KNOW what I want and what the outcome will be: awesome.
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
So on a scale of 1-10 how mad would you be if I sent you a picture from the inside of a strip club
Just got my second shot
Baller. We’re going to be knee deep in strippers and coke in 10 days
Randomize
