She put her phone in her underwear and it somehow managed to work it's way into her vagina. she has a BLACKBERRY.
He told me he finished so fast because he's a sprinter. I hate athletes who are really just pussies.
Can you explain my first weekend back, because there a lot of blacked out gaps and 32 friend requests i would like to know about
He called his prostate his "boner button".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just threw up blood. Also i just remembered i got hit in the face with a 2 by 4.
She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit
I'm confused as to why I have a picture of your boobs in response to a photo of my father
You said you couldn't look at me because you would have to take off your sunglasses but you can't because they're the "guides to your eyes".
Hey I'm sorry for head butting you last night. Personally I thought it was funny at the time, but I can see how from your perspective it may not have been as enjoyable for you... Hope your lip is okay.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like there should be a 'roommate information section' of the paperwork when there's a chance you'll be given pain killers.
I have already been up, showered, had a cup of coffee brought to me, added a little rum to cure the hangover, had sex and kicked him out and it's only 1pm. Successful day so far.
I think the pizza delivery guy is getting a handjob next door.
I'm doing the walk of shame into my therapists office wearing his clothes...I guess go big or go home
Tequilla is a sneaky bitch ninja that doesn't kick in until you least expect it. Then BAM! You're peeing in unconventional places.
he's a mother fucking interior design major!! we boned and fell asleep and now we're laying in bed discussing what color i should paint my room. i'm marrying him
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