You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
false alarm. still invincible.
I just bought a large Pizza and Xanex in the same store...my night is complete
what the fuck. my fiance told me she called our wedding band last night and told them to perform "best i ever had" for our first dance
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
Just showed mom and dad the pics from San Francisco, while i played the Full House theme song in the background.
Come over. Drunk tacos.
That isn't even a sentence.
I kept the important parts.
Nothing like wearing your heels and smelling like henney in the afternoon
Covered in confetti and bad decisions
They're doing shots to celebrate every 15 minutes passing. You can come get them.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Thursday could be nutella day. You could make me a nutella sandwich and then fuck me senseless
I have no idea what happened last night, but my pee is neon green.
He called my vagina his wife... how is that NOT creepy?!
Oh yeah, you are a real peach except for shitting uncontrollably and bleeding out of your face.
Someone broke into my car last night. Didn't take anything, even left the beer in my backseat. They need to get their priorities straight, obviously.
Oh and he asked if I would occasionally still blow him if we had children. It was so romantic.
Randomize