When sleeping with someone new: should you hide the magnum condoms, or let him know what he has to live up to?
No, I don't not want an upside down piggyback ride. You're drunk and there are rocks.
What are you doing? Did I punch you in the face last night?
Ya I know. She's self aware though, like the terminator. Which is the best kind of crazy
Kid got laid mid-party wearin a fuzzy hat with ears and 40's taped to his bear paws... wtf
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
I still regret not being there for your blackout into the dumpster last year
What I've learned from glowsticks: glowing things are not safe to eat
I told two kids in their homecoming outfits to use a condom because of Ebola. I may have saved a life last night
i may or may not have bought a plane ticket for a russian cam girl to fly here. also, can you spot me $300 on rent?
I have nice boobs. Don't wanna deprive anyone of the experience.
You're a saint.
Your boobs are like a folk legend.
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
Just had an emotional break through with the dog. That high.
I had perfectly good intentions but my penis had other ideas and now I need a place to crash what do you say
Randomize
