Just saw a man jogging. For recreation. At 3am. Who's he training to be, batman?
is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
I am the Bobby Fisher of drunk asss puking
well he showed me a naked baby picture and i was right it hasn't grown
he thinks im joking when i say don't visit. i mean it's summer...he was the college fuck and now it's time for the summer fuck
pretty sure i saw you masturbating on chatroulette a minute ago. yes, i can recognize your cock
I THOUGHT I SAW YOU
Did you know you could bring s cooler of beer to the nail salon?
You are literally throwing a tangerine right now. Beer pong is not played this way
How many tongue depressors should I need to steal from urgent care to make samurai armor?
one minute he's happily playing with a lighter and the next thing I know, he's screaming and the swing set is on fire
I've been here for three hours and I am already feeling sorry for whatever offspring i will indefinitely produce in this place.
I pray for you bro.
But think about it. I could put her gold medal around my penis
You started sleep walking, went to my closet, tried to pee on my boots, and when I asked you what you were doing you said "I'm talking to these people about jobs"
I showed my cat the amount of coke I had. She looked concerned.
It was an interesting experience to have sex while there was a triathlon going on right outside my bedroom window because it sounded like everyone is cheering for you in bed.
How supportive!
Randomize
