hey call me
can't. in the shower.
... and this is probably why your phone does not work half the time.
Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
She's like the female version of the Momento guy. She keeps forgetting that I'm an asshole after we have sex.
it's all fun and games until somebody pulls the tampon string..
you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
I had it in my eyebrows, my bangs, under one eye, and across both cheeks. Congratulations on the successful and elusive warpaint cumshot.
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
they named it eva bongoria. i had to hit it based on the name alone.
just watched the video of me leading you with a trail of french fries.
If there was a saddle on his sack, she would ride it.
We should have a bouncer at the top of our stairs asking the guys we bring home for ID...
The problem with drugs is that there's none in this hotel
The problem with drugs is that showing my boobs only gets so much of them
We took your mom out drinking and we wound up winning 18 games of Flip Cup. You have amazing genetics.
I'll truly miss your penis but your use of words and phrases such as bae, yolo, swag, and totes have ruined how attractive you once were.
Sorry for not calling you back. I got drunk and passed out on the kitchen floor. I just found my phone in the shower.
Randomize
