Want to have sex later?
This feels like a trap
are you going to last longer than 15 seconds
nope
Drinking mikes hard & watching the swan princess. i fucking LOVE college
quitting drinking is the number 5 new years resolution but number 4 is enjoying life more which one do you think im going to pick
it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
It's not my fault. Someone keeps buying me tequila shots. Idk who. But every time I look down there's another. I think there's a conspiracy.
What's standard gratutity for someone having a miscarriage on stage at a strip club? It's important.
By the way if you come home and I'm not wearing pants, just go with it. I didn't have the energy to go searching for some.
I was just too high to be in rapids man. I just screamed for the entire time I was jostling about.
I have an erection and I'm about to go through airport security.
I miss forts and drugs that made me believe in unicorns...
I told her my blood type was O Positive and we started making out. Bio majors are weird.
I think the sex rug burn on my back is infected, can you check it out when you get home?
And god said thou shalt never deny free booze. And it was good.
I'm not drunk or hungover and I don't have to work. My body is sooo confused!
Randomize
