I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
I seriously love my fucking boobs. They are so boobs.
Just ate lunch with a paperclip again. Seriously, need to invest in plastic forks.
But then he started to talk about his wedding he wants and I quote " and yes parts will be choreographed"
filling out my bracket based on schools with ppl I've hooked up with
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
Yeah. Rock bottom was him passing out and saying "are you putting a condom on me?" and me covering his mouth and saying shhhhh
As I fucked him you stood outside my door screaming, "I'M NOT JUDGING YOU!" over and over.
I was judging you.
We have an unspoken agreement. He helps me move and I give him a blow job. It's really unfair to him considering he doesn't know how much shit I have.
Also, I called my liver hardcore in front of vet students last night and then wound up having three of them trying to palpate it. So...not saying that again.
she used her teeth again, but this time it was out of love
Appearently I went across the hall last night demanding to ride my neighbors moose... How much did I drink?
I'm at a sex party and there's a guy in an ICP jersey and trip pants. I see now that this is the moment in the movie of my life I recognize I have a problem
Its official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world
yeah the cops just showed up and they got there ass handed to them at beer pong.
Randomize
