just to let you know, don't open your linen closet for a while until i come over with a cleaning kit and geek squad
So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
i just ordered an al pacino with double mocha at starbucks.. i'm waiting to see how long it takes the chick to realize what i said.
I don't care if the man pisses on teenage girls, he's enchanting.
She gave him a lap dance on the glass table. You can guess how that ended
Dude I walked in to my house just to be handed a bottle of vodka by my sister. She then said i had 15 minutes to finish it. Moving into my parents place is the best choice I have made this year.
Before I roll over explain to me why you're naked and on my floor.
Explain it like you would if you were talking to a 5 yo
Wait no, like you would to a stoned high school freshman.
The engagement ring savings account is now the strippers and gin savings account. What are you doing tonight?
Everything is just really out of control. I hear puking from three different parts of the house. Roger has black eye from being punched. Kaiser tried shaving his head, but somehow burned himself. Music is bumping, but everyone is either puking and calling out for help or blacked the fuck out.
He challenged me to a drink off, I couldn't just say no. It was a matter of pride really.
And as he was cursing your name from the bathroom you were ordering yourself another drink on his tab. The poor bastard had no clue you were a pro drunk
I immediately regret the tequila decision.
Do you have a moment to talk about our lord and savior, Kendra's boobs?
Pissing into the Grand Canyon is the single most liberating thing I've ever done in my entire life
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy
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