So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
Are we still dressing up as garden gnomes for halloween?
No. I would like to get laid again before I graduate.
I'm like cupid
You're a whore with a bow and arrow
Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave
I'm going to start giving girls scratch off lottery tickets when they leave my place in the am. That way they have a chance of not regretting the night before
I knew it was different as soon as you told me you slept with him and didn't tell me about his dick
well, the drug dealer I've been fucking the past 5 months gave me a chilis gift card for Christmas, so things are looking up.
He told me that his favorite part about me is hearing my voice while we fuck. I think that was the nicest thing he has EVER said to me.
She left a blanket, pillow, a glass of water, and two advils in the bathroom for me. It's like she knew. Best room mate ever.
They were swingers. Real swingers. Thought it was going to be awesome until some fat guy tried to put my dick in his mouth.
Today is the day I die from a hangover. I love you, mom. Farewell.
I spent all the money my grandpa gave me for Christmas last night….solid start to 2015
I can't believe that after 9 years of signing things as "BATMAN", the first place to turn it down was the liquor store down the block.
Sex while Star Warsing is the best
Sorry, was sleeping. I heard a rumor that I had a hangover, so I just went with it...
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