just tell him i said nine months
3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
My landlord wasn't pleased about the new fire pit we built him.
Roommate is high and swore off off the diet. Said she wants to make everyone else fat since it'd be easier. She spent today baking 3 dozen brownies for the office tomorrow and is already down to 24.
I definitely think in addition to buying paint ball guns this summer we should invest in a breathalyzer. That way every drunk night turns into a competition, who can blow over the legal limit more. The loser gets shot while hungover. Shit goes hand in hand if you ask me.
I got high with the cantor. Rethinking this whole non-practicing Jew thing.
I specialize in how to hang out and party with randoms after you've hooked up with them. Not in feelings.
We decided to keep having sex while I ordered the pizza. I wanted extra pepperoooooooooooooni.
I didn't want to but I was drunk in a Disney bathroom with her and had a weak moment.
We watched game of thrones, broke up and I drove away blasting ridin solo while he dougied
I sent her a picture of Richard Nixon and said "these are the only dick pics I send".
You yelled "Everybody!!! Round of applause to Jill for not doing anal!!" Right in front of him.
STOP GETTING GIRLS PREGNANT IN MY BED.
I'm pretty sure she tried to draw a self portrait out of her vomit. Then you tried to help, but passed out in the vomit.
U dont jog and buy condoms n bulk
Randomize
