Sooo, his balls are like... bigger than my head...
this stripper weighs a pound. I feel like I should tip her in food.
I meant to tell you earlier: bad life decision saturday has been moved wednesday this week
Maybe I should forgo underwear.
This is a family BBQ no?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She was mid-sentence and then BOOM the hammock broke off the tree. I about pissed myself. Hot Sprite and Vodka make the world go round.
Fun new game when high: sorting socks. Took forever. Was awesome.
The cop told you to put your hands behind your back and you slurred "I'm not falling for that again"
TGIFridays...stall number 1...drunk...send help
Only you could successfully troll for dick at a Hillel bake sale.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Me: 10% human, 90% poor drunken life choices.
Good, be his mentor. Like a tiny gay Yoda.
Once you share a nude experience with someone and three Norwegian guys, you're bound for life.
In your alcohol circus, can my act be juggling men? Let's be real, I can juggle multiple dick buddies better than a professional
Are you vicariously golddigging through me?!
I didn't have any choice but to cuddle you. Your hair was stuck on my nipple piercing.
Randomize